I wasn't going to go to church today.
My whole family is out of town and I didn't want to go by myself. I don't remember ever going by myself before actually. I did my devotions this morning & I read in James about not just being hearers of the word, but doers also and if we love God, we obey His word. I had a quick thought that I should go to church...
But, I had a lot of excuses...I had to feed the horses, it was raining, then it was snowing, the shirt I wanted to wear was still in the dryer. And I wasn't really in a very good mood. So, I decided to listen to a friend's church service on a facebook live video while I fed the horses. He mentioned the exact same verses from the book of James that I read earlier and I thought, maybe God is giving me another chance to obey.
At that point, it was 9:20 & church started at 10:30. I thought for sure I couldn't get everything done in time plus take a shower. The horses always need something extra that I don't plan on & I hate being rushed. But it felt like everything lined up smoother & quicker than usual & I was in the house at 9:40 & in the shower and dressed and leaving at 10:15. I was a few minutes late but I didn't care...I was planning to sit in the back row anyway. It was uncomfortable being by myself & I wasn't feeling very social.
At the last song I had myself packed up & after the prayer, I was getting on my jacket and about to go when a young woman with 3 small children, one a 6 month old baby was right in front of me. I hadn't seen her in many years. She used to play with my oldest daughter, they grew up together, went to 4H & they're both in their late 20s now. She said, "I saw you from across the aisle, you looked like you were about to bolt out of here but I wanted to talk to you. I want you to know that you had a big impact on me when I was growing up and spent time at your house." I was totally shocked. I asked her how I impacted her because I had no idea. She talked about how I was with all the kids when she was here, that everyone got along well & was close. She also said I gave her confidence to bake. She said I made baking/cooking seem like it was just natural and that it was easy enough for kids to do too. She & my oldest daughter used to make elaborate meals in my kitchen, way more fancy than I would normally make! I follow her on instagram & she's a way better baker than I am & sells her baked goods, so this really surprised me.
And she said she liked how close my kids were & wanted her 3 children to be close like that too. I told her that her instagram stories of her kids & their beautiful lifestyle brought back memories for me, it reminded me of my kids when they were little & she smiled. I said I miss the stage you're at so much & started crying. She said I know I'll miss this when it's done. I told her how much I've been struggling with only having 1 of my kids home now. I'm not even giving justice to this conversation...not to mention her baby slept through the whole thing & her little girls just played in the aisle way & her husband didn't seem to mind waiting.
But, God knows how I've been struggling with things that I'm not mentioning here. And He knew I needed to hear this at this time. I had NO idea that I had any impact on her at all...I feel very humbled and grateful to know <3
I'm glad God gave me a second chance to do what I knew I ought. He is so kind to give me the gift of this conversation this morning...especially since I kinda hoped not to end up talking to anyone. I didn't rule it out in case God wanted to use me to encourage anyone, but this time I was the one encouraged.
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